40 Days and Beyond: A Curated Journey Through Pregnancy and Postpartum

Basically…

The fourth trimester, the postpartum period, the new born stage, the new mother adjustment, the healing period… No matter what it is called, it was simultaneously the hardest and best times of my life. I had a wonderful pregnancy, I was working from home most of the time and enjoyed the flexibility of it. Prepping for the baby with my husband was the most enjoyable, wholesome experience and I felt true bliss! And then some days I struggled being far from my family during such an exciting time and after having the baby too, but I do think that helped me learn alot of tips and tricks I am about to share with you all.

He is coming!

We have an L shaped sofa in our living room and that long part of L became me shaped basically for 8 of the 9 months (minus our baby moon and some get aways here and there). I DID NOT MOVE, that’s probably why I gained 20kgs… I think it also really irritated my husband that he became my hired server for the duration of my pregnancy and although I love him so much, I really didn’t care because in my mind, I am doing so much already! Now 2.5 years later, it makes me laugh how I was actually stagnant for months and months. 

Anywayyyssss, after 9 long months, my blood pressure started going up (probably because I played a rock the whole time) and our doctor decided it would be best to do an induced birth. We chose the earliest possible date and on the 11th of August 2023, we went to the hospital and after 2 inductions, an epidural and 24 hours, my dream boy was born on 12 August 2023 at 8:16 pm. 

I was so exhausted, I barely remember it but one tip for all the parents to be, get a video camera and film those precious moments to have forever. The one I have is not ideal so I won’t recommend it specifically but when I find the one I like, I will let you guys know for sure. 

The first 36 hours

The night my baby was born, I could not sleep because I couldn’t get my eyes of him, I was so in love and wanted to find myself and his father in his features. 

Then the next day… As per our Khaliji/Arabic culture, the whole family basically visited at the hospital. It was nice to see everyone so excited to welcome our baby to the family, but I have never felt such exhaustion in my life. My son was not feeding, he refused to latch and I heard horrors about formula (it wasn’t even offered to us in the hospital) and after about 24 hours from being born he wouldn’t stop crying. I had to express and feed him little by little at a time and felt he wasn’t getting what he needed, so when we got home (day 2 of baby’s life) we went right back because I couldn’t get him to latch and he was so hungry. The doctor did a glucose test on baby and found that habibi’s blood sugar was a little low and recommended we spend the night so they can put him on a drip. 

This broke my heart! and I really wanted to give him formula but everyone around me was pushing me not to, and as a first time mother, I felt like I had to listen. In the hospital I learned to use a nipple shield and pump to create more milk, I used the Medela and the Spectra breast pumps. 

The next week was so cosy and sleepy. My husband and I tag teamed between feeds and naps, he did nights, I did mornings, we were able to do that because I pumped and saved for his times and used the shield for mine. My favorite time was early morning, when the sun is barley up, I turned on a romantic comedy movie, put on my shield and enjoyed the newborn scent in a dimly lit, warm room. 

40 Days and 40 Nights

In our culture, mothers do 40 days of nesting with their babies at home, letting their body recover and adjusting to their new normal. For the first week I was in Dubai with my husband and his family because that’s where I delivered and then for the rest of the 40 days I went to my family home in Oman. During these days, people visited daily, we were surrounded by love but I was still struggling with breastfeeding. I still couldn’t get my son to latch naturally and so brought a feeding expert to my house to teach me. She reiterated the dangers of using formula and how it’s so important to “try harder.” This is why now I always say to my friends that are new mothers, EVERYTHING IS AN OPTION! 

I got into a rhythm with my son in which I pumped one feed in advance and used the Medela storage bottles to keep it refrigerated and I recorded his feeding times, amounts and toilet times on an app called Baby Tracker. This helped me feel more in-control of my days, and as time went one and my supply increased I was able to store more feeds in advance for convenience. 

Normal Life as a Mother

Accepting the fact that there is no such thing as “going back to normal,” that life has passed and I have to now incorporate my normal habits that I used to do and want to keep into my new routine and flourish in this new beautiful, full life. We had a schedule with our baby but we were still only getting 2-3 hours of sleep and it made it difficult to then do all the other things I like to do during the day like go to the gym and get my nails done so I decided to take rain of things and started googling how I can get my son to sleep through the night, that’s when I learned about sleep training. 

At about 8 week postpartum, I decided to start sleep training and the education was life changing! I took the Taking Cara Babies course and could not recommend it enough. The structure is videos in which Cara teaches about different sleeping strategies and techniques and also give guidance on if some things don’t work for your baby, how to deal and adjust. She also provided kind reassurance that what we are going through is totally normal and to trust the process. 

Basically, Cara teaches that a baby’s day is centered around their feeds, they need a certain amount of calories during a 24 hour period and so we need to aim to have them get the bulk of their calories during the day time and then they will have a longer stretch of sleep during the night. This is where the tracking app and the fact that I was pumping enabled success. I always gave my son full feeds every 2 hours during the day (I woke him up if he was sleeping) and then at night I used a pacifier to sooth him. That night, we got a god sent 4 straight hours of sleep! As his milk intake increased during the day, the night stretches got longer and longer. 

Pro Tip – I learned not to feed every time he cried and aimed to understand the reason he is crying. Hungry, needs a change, gassy, sleepy, these are more or less the reasons that it could be and so I would go down the list, has he eaten with in 2 hours? yes, ok, does he need a change? no, ok is he gassy? no, ok, is he sleepy? could be, since he has been awake for an hour, so I give him the pacifier to help sooth him into sleep. This was my trial and error and it helped us avoid over feeding which leads to digestion issues and gas and also it helped regulate his feeding and nap schedule.

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